Tendayi Grows Things

I recently got told no. Today actually. Even had an explanation, but I was upset. Why? Why does rejection hurt, even when the reason is plausible, even when you know what you must do to turn the rejection around? Because they just do. OK there's a whole psychological (i.e. ego) basis for this but I'd like to discuss the types of nos I've experienced in my professional life and what I've learned from them. Straight up no. The "not good enough..." no. The "not now" no... The one that starts as a yes then later turns into a "we can't afford this/our strategy has changed/ we will revert and they actually don't. It's you that turns stalker because you're not the only one they are speaking with. Then there's the go back and rework it no. I work in the creative industries and I have been on the giving and receiving end of every single one of these. Every one of them sucks! WHY? As a creative(or anyone that cares about w...

Butterflies Am I the only one on this planet that has that sick feeling in their stomach when embarking on a new venture? That feeling often leaves me confused on whether it's a signal to keep on trucking because I'm on track - or to stop right now because there's an impending crash? Do those butterflies in my tummy mean onward or retreat?  I've found for the most part, that feeling points to my need to keep it moving, forward, in and through that fear. I've more often than not found that past that threshold is an exciting new discovery like a new skill, passion, great relationship or destination. A few years ago, I got tired of that yuck feeling signalling something wonderful on the other side.  Shouldn't markers that point to all things good feel good?  Lately, I've been listening to a tonne of mindfulness podcasts and self awareness speakers and the common thread is the mind and body detests change. Even when it knows the change is for our own good...

Happy New Year!!!! Well if you know anything about me, you will know that I am a huge experimenter and I do it all in the name of personal development.  I'm also willing to put imperfect things out there so I can track my growth. So whilst spring cleaning I found a green cloth that I had planned to use as a green screen some time ago. Then I found some old journals and thought heeeeey, let me vlog as I learn how to use this thing but get into the year teaching myself something new.  Imperfect but hey we have to start and grow from there. Here's to 2018...and to more of these and to growing.  Do you journal? Have you made new year's resolutions? Follow me here: Twitter: @tendayiness Instagram: tendiextravagant Song 1 by: iTunes and Song: Fredji - Happy Life (Vlog No Copyright Music) Music provided by Vlog No Copyright Music. Video Link: https://youtu.be/KzQiRABVARk

Drakensburg Being perfect is pointless because real growth comes from failing "epically" (made up word). That's what I got out of a speech I came across that Denzel Washington delivered to some university graduates. He talked about the inevitability of failure, but that we should "fall forward." More on the speech here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAmP5JLemfs The speech resonated with me because I was in the throes of having to make a big, expensive decision that would involve going in deep, maybe beyond my means. But when THEEE DENZEL says it's OK to be reckless, it almost gave me permission to do what I wanted to do even though when I weighed the cost, it was higher than I was willing to bare.  In fairness I don't think Denzel was saying be reckless but he did make me think. When is it important to jump in head first and when to keep your head where it is and study that water surface to determine whether it is deep enough to swim in or i...

My sister is an avid vintage clothing collector and wearer and I've sourced these pieces from her.  I have always loved vintage, for the style but also the stories I imagined the wearer had all those decades ago.  I've created stories around these few items, and will be building on them each week.  Who do you imagine these women were? Where did they wear these items? Why don't you write your own version in the comments section?  All pieces are up for a new body to rock them.  If you'd like one or two or more, send me a mail at calmgold08@gmail.com and we'll talk Rands and cents.  Vintage love xoxo Dress 1: "My Mother's Black Dress" The Black Dress: It's 1929, I'm going to my first party. It's in the city somewhere. The city scares me, everyone there is beautiful and bold, like my mother. This is her dress, she's the stylish one. She's also the most beautiful woman I've ever met.  Me? I...

I've recently experienced a transition. I've been asked about this recent decision I made. When I answered "I'm still working it through" I realised it was OK not to have it all figured out before you make a move.  Sometimes the figuring it out comes in the moving. I grew up believing certain things, many are like me in this way of processing things. Others grow up not thinking about anything at all. And then life hands out some experiences that make you question why you believe what you believe. Why do you believe what you believe? Why do you do what you do? Have you ever changed your mind after having walked a path for as long as you remember? How did you arrive at the change?

Henley Business School: Henley (UK) Over the last 32 months, I've been submerged in the pursuit of a Masters degree. The work itself was not technically difficult but getting it done was. There was a large volume of text to get through, thinking and writing to do. The time demand, constantly being one place but thinking about what you actually should be doing, attempting to balance health, spirituality, relationships, a mad juggle. Yup, getting this baby done was hard.  The degree exposed me, magnified certain qualities that had been dormant. One, is that I was defined by performance, the grade mattered, something I learned after I tumbled into a state of gloom for the entire day I received a less than average mark. I had deliberately pursued part time over the shorter full time study option whilst working full time because I couldn't afford to do it any other way. I also didn't want my career growth to stop.  I made responsible decisions, moved from freelance to...